Many years have passed since the cold and snowy Milwaukee I spent in 2003 with my firstborn. I used to sit quietly in a rocking chair in her room and nurse her. Robbie didn't make any racket, and we could even silence the t.v and phone ringer that were in the other room. My favorite memories of nursing her were the times we snuggled into our deep, overstuffed chair and watched the snow fall. Such fleeting moments.
I just put Vivian to bed, and it dawned on me that I am just days with her from the point at which newly one-year-old Henry refused to nurse and gave me baby sign language for "finished". That was it. He never nursed again. Baby girl is so distracted by her rambunctious siblings that she rarely nurses very well unless we are all alone in her dark room. We had such a luxury this evening. I asked Robbie to keep Henry out at all costs. He and Evelyn only burst into the room once to announce that Ev's blanket was missing, and Henry was the culprit. One interruption must be some kind of a record. My favorite lullaby CD played, Lullabies of Broadway by Mimi Bessett. It is amazing. Edelweiss played, and I simply adore that song. Robbie used to sing it to the girls at bedtime, and it brings back lovely memories. The words are so pretty too. I thought of my sweet and innocent baby girl Vivian, and how I do want her to bloom and grow. I want her to reach independence and no longer need me. However, it has been such a joy to nourish each of my children with mothers's milk. Nursing promoted such amazing bonding. There is nothing like the feel of a lovable child who grew in your belly nestled up with his or her warm head in the crook of your arm and a sleepy head against your chest. Tonight baby rubbed her silky blankey that I made for her against her nose, and she then played peek-a-boo with it. Her fat baby hand patted my chest, and I feel true love. Vivian is in all liklihood the last baby I'll ever have, and when she weans I think my heart will break a bit.
However, great joys await us. After she finished nursing she looked up, raised her arm, and used baby sign language for "light" to point out the dim glow coming from the ceiling. I loved it. Master Henry has not had a potty accident for over a week. He wears a diaper in his crib and on carpool rides, but his diaper stays dry. He's doing an awesome job. Yesterday I looked out the window to watch my darling husband throw snowballs at three of my children who were overstuffed with snow gear and taking cover behind a sled. Their giggles rang through the air, and I felt love in my heart. This morning the girls crawled into bed to snuggle up to warm mommy before the sun came up, and I treasure such times.
More tasks await as I prepare for the hectic nature of Monday mornings, so I must close. As another song that played earlier reminds me, I'll Count My Blessings Instead of Sheep. My blessings are many. Another one just befell me. Henry came down to say he wanted to kiss and hug me goodnight. I said, "I love you, big guy. You're such a good boy." He said, "I love you too. You're such a good mommy."
I just put Vivian to bed, and it dawned on me that I am just days with her from the point at which newly one-year-old Henry refused to nurse and gave me baby sign language for "finished". That was it. He never nursed again. Baby girl is so distracted by her rambunctious siblings that she rarely nurses very well unless we are all alone in her dark room. We had such a luxury this evening. I asked Robbie to keep Henry out at all costs. He and Evelyn only burst into the room once to announce that Ev's blanket was missing, and Henry was the culprit. One interruption must be some kind of a record. My favorite lullaby CD played, Lullabies of Broadway by Mimi Bessett. It is amazing. Edelweiss played, and I simply adore that song. Robbie used to sing it to the girls at bedtime, and it brings back lovely memories. The words are so pretty too. I thought of my sweet and innocent baby girl Vivian, and how I do want her to bloom and grow. I want her to reach independence and no longer need me. However, it has been such a joy to nourish each of my children with mothers's milk. Nursing promoted such amazing bonding. There is nothing like the feel of a lovable child who grew in your belly nestled up with his or her warm head in the crook of your arm and a sleepy head against your chest. Tonight baby rubbed her silky blankey that I made for her against her nose, and she then played peek-a-boo with it. Her fat baby hand patted my chest, and I feel true love. Vivian is in all liklihood the last baby I'll ever have, and when she weans I think my heart will break a bit.
However, great joys await us. After she finished nursing she looked up, raised her arm, and used baby sign language for "light" to point out the dim glow coming from the ceiling. I loved it. Master Henry has not had a potty accident for over a week. He wears a diaper in his crib and on carpool rides, but his diaper stays dry. He's doing an awesome job. Yesterday I looked out the window to watch my darling husband throw snowballs at three of my children who were overstuffed with snow gear and taking cover behind a sled. Their giggles rang through the air, and I felt love in my heart. This morning the girls crawled into bed to snuggle up to warm mommy before the sun came up, and I treasure such times.
More tasks await as I prepare for the hectic nature of Monday mornings, so I must close. As another song that played earlier reminds me, I'll Count My Blessings Instead of Sheep. My blessings are many. Another one just befell me. Henry came down to say he wanted to kiss and hug me goodnight. I said, "I love you, big guy. You're such a good boy." He said, "I love you too. You're such a good mommy."
I understand your feelings as you start to think about "weaning" - I can totally relate my dear friend. :) Molly was also obsessed with lights - one of her first words I recall. So fun. :) Mike danced with his mother at our wedding to Edelweiss - both our families love the Sound of Music and that song - was excited to read your post when I read the title. :)
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