"Do you think our Elf on the Shelf has a tiny little penis?"

The kids have been so funny lately. First, the baby moved to the dark side yesterday. She turned 10 months on the 8th, and yesterday she was in full "baby on the move" mode. She opened a kitchen cabinet and threw things on the floor. She opened the drawer under the oven and tried to get to pans and lids. She cleared the bottom bookshelf of books and ripped an entire page from one. She got a cookie sheet and banged a cup against it to make a huge clatter!

This weekend Robbie was on the phone with his dad. Robbie doesn't do too much phone talking at home, and we have opposite styles. I talk while I unload the dishwasher or fold laundry. Robbie rests while he chats. After a LONG time, I began to wish he'd get off the phone. I needed to talk to him before I left the house, and he seemed in no hurry to end the call anytime soon. Just as I decided to interrupt him, Olivia handed him a note. It said, "Get off the phone right now for goodnise sake you have been on the phone sinse 10:00 to 12:18 you promised me you would tackle me!!!!!!!!!!" It worked. He got off the phone. They wrestled. He's such a good guy.

I went out to finish our holiday shopping, and I returned to homemade chicken and dumplings. It was amazing! The smell filled our home, and the food warmed me to the core after fighting crowds in store, cold air between stores, and unkind drivers. Gosh, it was good!! The next morning he used the dumpling recipe to make a giant biscuit for breakfast. The kids devoured the food, and I was completely thankful for a cooking husband. He even made sausage gravy!

Last night when the kids asked for dessert, Robbie suggested I make some dark chocolate brownies. I tried to make them molten cupcakes, and they were not well formed after much time in the oven. Henry ate his, and Robbie said, "Henry is the messiest human alive." His face was smeared with chocolate. It was all over his hands, his shirt, the table, and his chair. I thought the same thing when I found so many crumbs under his chair from his lunch today. How does one create so many crumbs? I think it requires special skill.

Okay, I hear somebody crying upstairs, but I must continue...
Evelyn came into our bathroom recently after searching for Porton, our Elf on the Shelf. He goes to the North Pole each night and tells Santa how our children behave. This means he tells Santa how they tease each other and leave their PJs on the floor. Anyway, Evelyn said, "Mama, do you think our Elf on the Shelf has a tiny little penis?" Now, Porton is smaller than a Barbie, and I laughed out loud. Robbie was in the shower, and he laughed too. I said, "Yes, Ev, I'm sure he has a little penis. He's a little elf, and that's how boys go pee pee." She then asked if Santa has a penis.

I have another hair cutting story and one that totally explains Ev's personality, but Vivian calls! You'll have to wait.