"I won't eat ANYTHING, so I won't grow any more!"

Vivian is black or white.  She alternates between practically crying, "I want you to HOLD me!" and "I want to walk."  She wants to walk in parking lots and when it is time to get into her crib.  She wants me to hold her when I need to cook dinner or must carry a laundry basket.  Complicated.

I read a sweet story to the little two before preschool today about the growth of children and flow from one generation to the next.  I got tears in my eyes at the thought of my children growing up and getting silver haired...meaning that I will no longer be on this earth.  Vivian was very concerned about me.  Henry said, "I won't eat ANYTHING, so I won't grow any more!  I'll stay little."

Evelyn is my kid who sees a problem and takes it upon her responsible little self to solve it.  She cleans messes.  She organizes books in office waiting rooms.  She vacuums basements and arranges toys on playdates.  Yesterday, she put away clean laundry (that wasn't hers) that was on my bed.  She said an entire rosary.  As an act of goodness, she made a birthday card for a little girl who has been making snide remarks to her at school.  She heard Vivian crying for me to help her at bath time, and listened to me explain I had to make lunches.  Ev started making a lunch for her daddy and herself!!  That's my after dinner chore, so I was overjoyed.  I got a text just after noon today, "Who made my pitiful dry sandwich?"  I called Robbie back laughing and listened to him detail his lunch....dry bread, one piece of deli meat, one slice of cheese - no mustard.  He had a sack of pistachios that he couldn't open.  I guess Ev found the remnant sealed shut ones.  She put a sprig of five grapes in a bag.  Next, she gave him five chocolate covered almonds and a yogurt.  I hope his blood sugar doesn't drop during surgeries this afternoon!  If nothing else, he can feel lucky that I make him such nice lunches each day.

Olivia checked out a new book yesterday, and she loved it.  She read and read after finishing her homework.  She missed bedtime she was so engrossed in her reading while snuggled up in a comfy chair.  I love it!!

My Son - Protector of Sisters

A lovely dress is hanging in my room waiting to be mended.  Olivia wore it in kindergarten, and it ripped at a wedding reception.  Evelyn will wear it to the ballet on Saturday.  It just hit me how long ago my oldest daughter wore that dress.  She's now in 4th grade.  In the same number of years, she'll be an eighth grader.  The next jump will make her a senior in high school. How does this happen?  How will her dresses transform over the course of those years?  Who will my child become?  I'm saddened by the realization that my little girl will grow up, even when every waking breath is spent helping her grow into the best version of herself possible.  Life is funny like that.

Yesterday a boy was trying to keep Vivian and Evelyn off the play equipment after school.  I gave them some time to work out the conflict, then I gently reminded the boy that everyone gets to share the playground.  Henry took matters into his own hands.  He climbed UP the slide.  He appeared next to the boy and proudly proclaimed, "Hey, (name), my classmate.  Those are MY sistuhs!  They get to play up here too.  Step aside, Captain!"  I was so proud of him I could have burst!!  The boy yielded, and the girls got to venture up to the top of the play set, which he had guarded as though it was his personal territory.  When I expressed my gratitude to my young son for protecting his sisters' interests, he said, "I will always protect them."  God bless Henry.

The funniest thing Henry has done lately involves clothing selections.  Here are his best outfits...

Red race t-shirt with lime green basketball shorts

Ironman costume (size 4-6) with Tow Mater costume on top (size 3T) - both have puffed chests!!

undies, PJs, football pants, baseball pants, and four pairs of basketball shorts = 9 Layers on bottom

Ironman costume with T. Rex over the top -  He put an Ironman face mask on the T. Rex's head.

My high point of the weekend was when we had the opportunity to go to a chapel to pray for a dear friend who was going to share the story of her life and faith journey with a group.  We gathered around her, placed our hands upon her shoulders, and prayed.  The big girls were at open gym with friends.  As I began the St. Teresa prayer, Henry and Vivian joined me line by line, and it was absolutely tender-hearted and moving.

May today there be peace within.
May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
May you not forget the infinite possibilities born of faith.
May you use those gifts you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.
May you be content knowing that you are a child of God.
Let this presence settle into your bones and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise, love, and listen.
It is there for each of us.
Amen.

Everyone in the World by my girls

I have two main expectations of the children in my home.  First, we must practice The Golden Rule.  We must treat one another with the love, respect, and dignity that we each deserve and desire.  Next, we six must coexist in a small space by being responsible for our belongings.  These are basic premises, but ask any parent how much time and negative energy they exert reinforcing these concepts.

Recently, we have had some totally dreadful mornings.  One child keeps waking up on what is the understatement of all time to call "the wrong side of the bed".  Getting out of bed, dressing, eating, brushing teeth - things that children all over the world must do in a timely fashion on school days...these expectations are viewed as a personal afront.   This negative attitude invariably results in raised voices, much frowning, the doling out of significantly more severe consequences, and a tense start to the day.  NOT good. I've had numerous discussions with "my people" about this situation.  One friend of four shared the book title, Cleaning House - A Mom's 12-Month Experiment to Rid Her Home of Youth Entitlement.  Wow!  That is a dandy, and I quickly begged to borrow it ASAP.  The Overleases had their first ever family meeting on Friday night, and our new plan based on Chapter 1 - Operation Clutter Control, launches tomorrow.  Each big kid will receive 30 quarters in his/her personal jar.  Children are expected to make their beds upon rising.  They are required to maintain a bedroom and bathroom clear of items on the floor...no wet towels, PJ parts, dirty socks, and stray shoes allowed.  No piling allowed on surfaces.  Breakfast dishes must be cleared and put away.  Upon my morning sweep, any undone work will result in a quarter being removed from the negligent party's jar.  The money goes into Mommy's jar.  I has done my children a disservice by acting as the tidying Godmother...constantly screwing on toothpaste caps and carrying shoes to their closets.   Evelyn, my most responsible cleanup gal, is completely ecstatic to get this quarter party started.  She keeps asking, "Is it October 1st?!"  We are ready to roll.

I have other consequences in place to deal with the back talk that has been directed at me.  Fr. Jim Sichko recently spoke at our church.  "The Ten Commandments are not The Ten Suggestions," he reminded us.  Honor your father and mother is a commandment from God, and it is my job as a parent to teach it.  Since calm explanations, and sometimes very reactive vocal outbursts on my part, have not nipped this misbehavior in the bud...let me introduce Plan B.  Fr. Jim shared the story of the one time he talked back to his little Italian mother.  His father fed him a bar of Irish Springs.  Soap in the mouth is on the list of consequences that I presented in writing to my children.  My father's solution to Miss Julie's misdeeds was to make me stand with my nose in the corner.  I HATED standing with my nose in the corner!  My father maintains that that is precisely the point.  Nose in the corner...take 2.  A new generation gets to experience it.  Early bedtime, loss of ability to accept play date invitations, and physical exertion are my new go to stakes.  I took three of the most grueling exercise moves from my workouts, demonstrated them for my children during our meeting, and explained that High Knees, Burpees, and the Duck Walk can be expected as consequences.  Google those moves.  They are no joke.  You won't backtalk me either!  I'm taking, "Drop and give me 20," to a new level.  My kids are going to be good, or they are going to have amazing legs.  Now, I understand there are Love and Logic parents out there who will scream natural consequences my direction.  Natural consequences exist under our roof too.  However, sometimes something more attention getting is necessary. Guess what?  Everyone has already been a whole lot more respectful this weekend.


The beautiful flip side of all of this came this morning.  Olivia and Evelyn composed their own hymn while I grabbed some items at the grocery store on our way home from church.  After Robbie prepared a lovely buttermilk and bacon breakfast, the children started playing mass.  Henry was assigned to carry the crusifix, which in the kids' case was a large foam block on a yellow stick used for sparring.  Vivian was given an angel.  Evelyn carried my bible.  Olivia typed and printed handouts for her parents' use during their church service and led the songs and piano music. They led us in their very own version of a mass, and Olivia read scripture from Genesis.  Robbie and I were pretty amazed by our children.  The original song had no music to it, so we four each sang it in a unique way...simultaneously.  This led to ripples of giggles.  The baby told us, "SHHH, be quiet."  Henry, again dressed in the Iron Man costume purchased by Mrs. Scarboro as a Halloween costume gift, and wiggled under the ottoman during mass until he totally disappeared.  He was a red, squirmy, worm.  He has worn that costume every minute of the day that I've allow it since Thursday afternoon.  There are padded muscles, and he thinks he is pretty cool.  I told him he looks even stronger than Daddy with those muscles, and he beams.  His words to his little sister, "Viv, you dress up like a princess.  (He handed her a Belle ball gown from the dress up bin.)  Let's pretend a shark is eating you, and I will SAVE you!!!"  Her knight in a bright red costume is her very own roommate and big brother, Henry.  What a lucky gal.  After church, my four children play church...what a lucky mommy.

Henry's Reality According to Evelyn

Henry is a bit philosophical for a 4-year-old male.  We have been spending A LOT of time in the van driving to and from school and activities.  He asks a lot of questions about God that frequently come up in our van.  Most recently, he asked if there are many Gods.  I told him we believe in one God.  He said with perplexity, "Then how is He in everyone's heart?"  I couldn't explain that one.  I tried, then told him we'll have to have a chat with one of the priests.  On another occasion, he asked who is in our heart, God or Jesus?  "Both," was my reply.  To this my son said, "Wow!  They must be all squooshed up."  I love the laughs that are induced from the comments of my children.  I got a great one as we read, Let Me Hold You Longer, a book that suggests parents are so busy celebrating firsts with their children that we don't recognize their "lasts".  One line went something like, "The last time you tell me you want to marry me when you grow up."  Henry pointed to the illustration of the young son running toward his mother's open arms, and he very seriously told me, "If he marries her, then Evelyn says their children will grow an extra eye right here."  He pointed to his forehead, and I erupted in laughter.  Apparently, Miss Evelyn has explained something about reproduction to Henry so that he has been advised against marrying his sisters, cousins, or mother.  On a long, sunny walk on a brisk morning, Henry inquired about how God put him in my belly when he was "a tiny baby as small as a bug".  He wanted to know if God had to use really strong tape to close the opening in my body that He used to put Henry in there.  He's always thinking and wondering, and I treasure this privilege of being with him daily so that he turns to me with his beautiful questions.

I think my son misses mom when he goes to preschool.  He asked as I pulled into the preschool parking lot, "WHY do you want me to go to school all the time?"  He only goes three afternoons a week.  After I happily reported that friends and family bought magazines from him during the school fundraiser, he got really worried.  "MOM, I don't HAVE any magazines."  Again, more laughter.  Finally, shortly after 6 am this morning my little buddy crawled into my bed for his morning snuggle.  After a bit, he got right in my face, his nose practically touching mine, and said, "When are you going to get up, Mom?  I'm so hungry."  Henry sat on my lap all during Olivia's first volleyball games yesterday, and he was not still.  Robbie chuckled next to me in bed, and said, "You see little monkeys or cubs who are all over their mothers, bothering them relentlessly.  There are similarities."  More laughter.

Olivia is totally excited about playing volleyball and dancing ballet this fall.  She will likely audition for The Nutcracker with the Kansas City Ballet.  Evelyn has been earning gold coins at school for her cooperation and fine behavior at a record setting pace, and she's working hard on school skills.  She started back to gymnastics last week, and she loves it!  She's been doing all sorts of moves on the swing set bar.  Vivian is a talking machine and wearing panties.  What has the world come to when I don't have a baby in diapers?  I'm kind of in a funk about it, rather than celebrating Viv's accomplishment.

This is a beautiful morning.  Robbie and the children are outside playing on the swing set.  I am enjoying my second cup of hot coffee after a scrumptious breakfast of Robbie's "from scratch" pancakes, a new recipe today, 100% pure Michigan maple syrup, melon, berries, and bacon.  Life is GOOD!  Thank you dear God.

A Typical Saturday of Mayhem

My morning began with one of the children (who ran fevers yesterday) coughing to the point of retching.  I am potty teaching Vivian, and after making her first morning trip, she said, "May I please see my penis?"  I explained, "You don't have one."  She emphatically replied, "Yes, I do.  I saw it yesterday!"  Later, I was on hands and knees again cleaning pee off the floor, and she had to be bathed.  Just after one of her potty breaks I stupidly thought I was "all clear" for a quick shower.  While I was occupied, "someone" gave her a banana.  She tried to wash it down the hall bathroom sink.  That didn't go too well.  I later found the peel stuffed between couch cushions.  Evelyn coughs and she sounds like a dying, barking seal.  This only got worse when she and Henry fought over who owned the stuffed tiger.  Olivia came to me in the afternoon, and she had broken a key off inside the lock of our back door.  Robbie is on call, and he spent most of the day helping an extremely ill individual with a serious eye complication.  His day home for family time and some relaxation was shot.  Henry just came to me, and said, "When I grow up I am going to give birth to a chicken!"  He then bent down and strained a bit.  Luckily, no chicken appeared.  His inner workings amaze me.  I have fed my family dinner, and I'm ready to say, "Okay, everybody.  That's a wrap."  I will certainly welcome the peace of some quiet time on the couch with Robbie after the children fall asleep tonight.  I am worn out.  My own throat hurts something fierce.  However, I am thankful for all of the "excitement" that is my household's norm.  Someday, I'll be bored to tears, and I'll miss being needed so dearly.

Progress

Vivian is my alarm clock.  Each morning she wakes me as she loudly calls out something from her crib.  This morning, the words were of the loveliest sort, "MOMMMMYYYYY!  I love youuuu!!"  She said it again and again until I was able to peel myself out of bed.  It was very sweet.  Sometimes she'll yell, "Is it morning?" She's really getting big, and she keeps telling me, "I am NOT a baby anymore.  I'm a big kid."  She demonstrated this today during my workout by coming upstairs to take herself potty, and she didn't just make a little "tinkle music" as we call it.  I was so proud of her.  Henry got tucked in for nap time, and I said, "Buddy, can you even believe that you are about to be a school boy in preschool?"  He said, "Don't worry, Mom.  You won't be alone when everyone goes to school.  God will be with you."  Wow!  What profound words from such a small boy.  Well, I have my big girls and a friend dropping homemade oatmeal chocolate chip cookie dough onto a cookie sheet, so I better run.

My Baby Climber

Vivian is a wild one.  Today as I made lunch, she disappeared from the living room where the children were quietly watching a nature show on a HOT day.  I began my search, and I couldn't find her.  I looked behind the rocker in her room.  I checked on Robbie's side of the closet, down where his pants hang.  I pulled aside the shower curtain, and on I looked.  Finally, I heard a faint answer, but I still could not figure out where she was in the house.  Olivia found her in the unfinished part of our basement.  She was back in the storage area where we have broken down boxes for our next move and where we save boxes to ship packages.  She climbed five feet off the ground onto suspended wooden shelving units that Robbie built for storage.  She even manged to get her sippy cup and a toy puppy bank onto the shelf with her.  She looked so proud of herself up there high off the basement floor like a big shot6.  She peeked out through the side of the shelf with an enormous smile.  What next?!