Henry's Favorite Gift

Before preschool I snuggled with Henry and Vivian to read from our wonderful stack of Christmas books.  We read The Joy of Giving, which is a Berenstain Bears title.  At the end, I asked Henry, "What is the best gift you have ever been given?"  I sat there thinking, and reflected that my children top my list (Robbie too!!).  Young Henry answered, "You, Mom.  You are the best gift God ever gave me."  Wow!  I was expecting, "My Incredible Hulk costume or my big boy sized Lightning McQueen car that I can drive!!"  This guy has been in a lot of trouble today.  He marked on the kitchen table.  He was slow to get into his gym clothes, then even slower to change into school clothes.  He didn't share the couch cushion fort with Viv.  He pushed the big girls' bunk beds away from the wall, and messed up Ev's carefully made bed...and on, and on, and on.  However, the core of my little guy is so pure and amazing.  Little boys will be active and messy, but this little boy of mine has a heart of gold, AND he loves his mama dearly.  I am blessed.

With Loving Thanks

Yesterday was a gorgeous day.  I woke up knowing my children would be able to run and play outside in perfect weather.  I decided to change up my strategy to include the children in preparing our Thanksgiving dinner so that each one would get some one-on-one time with me.  Plus, one mama and four children over a pie crust doesn't go down too well for anyone involved.  The kids seem to fight when we bake, which negates my whole intention of bringing us joyful memories!  My plan worked.  I started with my young son, and Henry helped roll out Emily's mom's recipe for pie crust and mixed up everything to make his pecan pie.  The big girls each made one pumpkin pie from fresh pumpkins picked this fall on outings to the pumpkin patches of KC.  They rolled out butter pie crusts like little baking pros.  Vivian mixed up the corn bread recipe that we use for Grandma Gloria's corn bread stuffing recipe that Robbie makes each year.  He tasted Viv's bread and made a hilarious exclamation that I can't publish.  He liked it!  All of the children were very proud of their efforts, and we had a really fun time baking together.  They wore small aprons and looked so cute with hands dusted in flour.  The big girls also helped me make a cranberry upside down coffee cake that we'll eat Thanksgiving morning.  It is quite beautiful, and they are impressed with the invention of spring form pans.

Robbie had to work into the afternoon yesterday, and my parents were delayed traveling from Illinois due to illness.  I was solo most of the day with all of the kids out of school and much work at hand.  Although they played very nicely and got along fine, Henry was in wild man mode.  The night before, Robbie and I talked about our goal to enjoy the children and remain mindful of the blessings they bring, even as they quarrel and make messes while we prepare our holiday feast.  First off, my son exploded a bowl of flake cereal all over the dining room floor and spent an eternity sweeping the mess.  Henry dumped tire mulch from the play set on Olivia's head and his own.  He spit chewed orange peel into the serving pitcher of tea during their picnic...TWICE!  He licked his whisk as he beat raw eggs!!  He put a quarter in his mouth. The rare time that I served hot dogs, he stuffed 3/4 of one into his mouth (with bun) and tried to talk.  CHOKING HAZARDS, BOY!!  He couldn't get out of his PJs fast enough, because he had stuffed super hero slippers into the bottoms to resemble muscles (so he said...).  He came to me with, "Mom, I couldn't get my PJs off when I had to pee."  I asked, "What happened?"  He said, "Pee got EVERYWHERE."  He jumped on the couch.  He got our 14 lb. turkey (which was luckily wrapped) and hoisted it above his head in the kitchen.  He stood with his nose in the corner for ugly talk ("You don't even love me at all, Mom.  You never take care of me.") and pouting about something so minor it escapes me.  He played with a giant stick in the backyard, which is an Overlease No No.  Henry received too many consequences over the course of the day to even name! Through much deep breathing and prayer, I managed to remain calm through all of this.  It was not until past his bedtime (which resulted from extra storybooks and warm cuddles) when he filled the toothpaste tube with water that I let loose and loudly voiced my frustration.  I hope this day brings a less energetic Henry.  So help me God.

Olivia delighted us with her new piano piece from The Nutcracker, the main Sugar Plum Fairy song.  The girls have also been singing some Christmas carols as Olivia plays piano.  I love those moments.  They later put on beautiful Dance with your Daddy music, wore ballet garb, and danced happily and gracefully through the living room.  Evelyn crafted Thanksgiving decorations, which affords her a creative outlet.  Ev's like the MacGyver of 1st graders!  The girl can craft!!

Vivian has been praying in an amazingly beautiful way.  I received a rosary from a friend, and she keeps asking to hold it to pray in the van.  She says, "Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with ME."  Big brother Henry then tells her, "No, Viv.  That's not right.  You don't say, 'The Lord is with ME.  You say, 'The Lord is with V, like in your name."  Henry has trouble with the "th" blend, so I explained, "Actually, buddy, it is the Lord is with THEE.  Bite your tongue when you say the "th".  It means, 'The Lord is with you."  This in itself is comical, of course.  However, baby knows her prayer quite well.  She asks for our morning drive to school standby, The St. Teresa Prayer, which I have published before.  Henry asks us to pray for those in need when we hear sirens.  Vivian even said a lovely unique prayer for my brother, "Dear God, please help Uncle Anthony to not be sick ANY MORE.  Please make him feel well and healthy."  Nice word choice, Viv!  However, her most profound utterance came as we spoke of Heaven and she listened as I answered a question Henry voiced about if we get to go to our house when we die.  "We don't go to our house, Henry.  If we live a life of kindness and compassion, then we go home to God, and we get to be with Jesus forever."  This topic was discussed during mass last weekend by Fr. Shawn, and Henry was listening.  Two-year-old Vivian said, and I'll never forget it, "and God will hold us in his loving hands."  That line is from a beautiful prayer we say about Trusting in God that I got from another friend.

Trust in God - by St. Francis de Sales 

Do not look forward to the trials and crosses of this life with dread and fear.  Rather, look to them with full confidence that, as they arise, God, to whom you belong, will deliver you from them.

He has guided and guarded you thus far in life.  Do you but hold fast to His dear hand, and He will lead you safely through all trials.  Whenever you cannot stand, He will carry you lovingly in His arms.

Do not look forward to what may happen tomorrow.

The same Eternal Father who cares for you today will take care of you tomorrow and every day of your life.  Either He will shield you from suffering or He will give you the unfailing strength to bear it.

Be at peace then and put aside all useless thoughts, vain dreads, and anxious imaginations.

Vivian listens to us as we pray, and our words have settled into her heart.  What an amazing discovery for a mother to make, and what an incredible blessing.  I wish you a very wonderful Thanksgiving.  May your blessings be many.

Potties, Potties, EVERYWHERE!!

Viv still sleeps in a crib in a room with "my Henry".  A few nights ago those two stripped naked before bath time, and I found them crawling around on Olivia's top bunk.  I scolded them, and quick as a whip, baby Vivian flung herself over the side of the railing, lowered herself until she was hanging from the side rail with her arms straight, then dropped to the floor, and landed on her feet.  Her moves were amazing!  Also, dangerous, but truly amazing!  Each morning she calls to me from her bed to take her to the restroom, so I just lowered her crib railing and showed her how to crawl in and out.  My hope is that she will take herself potty at 6 am, rather than yell so loudly for me on a Saturday morning that she wakes five other family members.  One can hope.  Maybe I should pray too.

I took the youngest two to a showroom this morning.  Henry spied toilets EVERYWHERE, and I could see the wheels turning.  I was taking pictures of shower fixtures, and Henry was lifting toilet seats.  "You can't pee in that toilet, Son."  Now, I am so frequently amused by the words that I am forced to utter to my small children.  Recent quotes include, "We don't throw furniture!!!!" after Henry flung a child-sized chair across the room while pretending to have super hero strength, and "You may not wield that giant piece of bark like a sword!" on the playground.  Thankfully, the showroom remained clean.  Nothing truly "blog worthy" as my children say, happened.  In the restroom Vivian struck up a lengthy conversation with a fellow shopper.  Viv said, "What's your name?"  Jessica answered and returned the question.  Vivian, dressed in her Halloween costume, a darling Snow White dress that her daddy bought for her, answered like a big shot, "IIII"m (pause) Snow White."  I love these funny little people.  I have the best job EVER.

Strep Throat Gone Way Wrong

Life can turn on a dime.

Last Monday Olivia woke up with a sore throat and stiff neck.  I acknowledged both issues, and I sent her to school.  That evening, she was diagnosed with strep throat.  The doctor said her lymph nodes were swollen from infection, which explained the tenderness she experienced upon moving her neck.  Thursday morning, she was still complaining to the point of crying about pain moving her neck.  A follow-up with the pediatrician led to a CT of her neck (with an IV for contrast).  A retropharyngeal abscess was found at the base of her skull inside her neck in the area behind her throat and sinuses.  She was sent to the Emergency Room for a consultation  with an Ears Nose and Throat surgeon, which led to emergency surgery and hospitalization for IV antibiotics.  She went from run of the mill strep throat to surgery with general anesthesia and being admitted to the hospital.  She's so wise for her years.  She expressed the sentiment that life was funny in that things could sure change and get serious in a hurry.  The day after her discharge, she felt a little puny.  I told her I'd stay home from mass with her while Daddy took Evelyn.  She said, "I don't feel great, but I feel well enough to go learn about Jesus!"  Be still my heart.  What a little blessing of a daughter.

As we approach Thanksgiving, it is abundantly apparent that I have much for which to be thankful.  Without easy access to prompt medical care for my child, my life could be much different today.  During a recent scripture study gathering, one lady shared this notion.  "Imagine that you wake up tomorrow with only those things for which you thanked God yesterday."  The children and I discussed this after school, and Olivia decided it prudent to develop an all encompassing prayer of thanksgiving.  That's not a bad idea.

During my time in the hospital with Olivia, I was so very grateful for the support I received through prayers and actions from family and friends.  My dearest friend, Emily, appeared in the Radiology Department right before Olivia's CT.  She took my two little ones, and she kept all three younger children for over 28 hours.  I was able to focus on supporting Olivia during her time of need.  Thank you, God.  As Olivia would recommend, "Thank you, God, for my loving husband.  Thank you for the health of my children and relatives.  Thank you for every blessing in my life.  Amen."

"I won't eat ANYTHING, so I won't grow any more!"

Vivian is black or white.  She alternates between practically crying, "I want you to HOLD me!" and "I want to walk."  She wants to walk in parking lots and when it is time to get into her crib.  She wants me to hold her when I need to cook dinner or must carry a laundry basket.  Complicated.

I read a sweet story to the little two before preschool today about the growth of children and flow from one generation to the next.  I got tears in my eyes at the thought of my children growing up and getting silver haired...meaning that I will no longer be on this earth.  Vivian was very concerned about me.  Henry said, "I won't eat ANYTHING, so I won't grow any more!  I'll stay little."

Evelyn is my kid who sees a problem and takes it upon her responsible little self to solve it.  She cleans messes.  She organizes books in office waiting rooms.  She vacuums basements and arranges toys on playdates.  Yesterday, she put away clean laundry (that wasn't hers) that was on my bed.  She said an entire rosary.  As an act of goodness, she made a birthday card for a little girl who has been making snide remarks to her at school.  She heard Vivian crying for me to help her at bath time, and listened to me explain I had to make lunches.  Ev started making a lunch for her daddy and herself!!  That's my after dinner chore, so I was overjoyed.  I got a text just after noon today, "Who made my pitiful dry sandwich?"  I called Robbie back laughing and listened to him detail his lunch....dry bread, one piece of deli meat, one slice of cheese - no mustard.  He had a sack of pistachios that he couldn't open.  I guess Ev found the remnant sealed shut ones.  She put a sprig of five grapes in a bag.  Next, she gave him five chocolate covered almonds and a yogurt.  I hope his blood sugar doesn't drop during surgeries this afternoon!  If nothing else, he can feel lucky that I make him such nice lunches each day.

Olivia checked out a new book yesterday, and she loved it.  She read and read after finishing her homework.  She missed bedtime she was so engrossed in her reading while snuggled up in a comfy chair.  I love it!!

My Son - Protector of Sisters

A lovely dress is hanging in my room waiting to be mended.  Olivia wore it in kindergarten, and it ripped at a wedding reception.  Evelyn will wear it to the ballet on Saturday.  It just hit me how long ago my oldest daughter wore that dress.  She's now in 4th grade.  In the same number of years, she'll be an eighth grader.  The next jump will make her a senior in high school. How does this happen?  How will her dresses transform over the course of those years?  Who will my child become?  I'm saddened by the realization that my little girl will grow up, even when every waking breath is spent helping her grow into the best version of herself possible.  Life is funny like that.

Yesterday a boy was trying to keep Vivian and Evelyn off the play equipment after school.  I gave them some time to work out the conflict, then I gently reminded the boy that everyone gets to share the playground.  Henry took matters into his own hands.  He climbed UP the slide.  He appeared next to the boy and proudly proclaimed, "Hey, (name), my classmate.  Those are MY sistuhs!  They get to play up here too.  Step aside, Captain!"  I was so proud of him I could have burst!!  The boy yielded, and the girls got to venture up to the top of the play set, which he had guarded as though it was his personal territory.  When I expressed my gratitude to my young son for protecting his sisters' interests, he said, "I will always protect them."  God bless Henry.

The funniest thing Henry has done lately involves clothing selections.  Here are his best outfits...

Red race t-shirt with lime green basketball shorts

Ironman costume (size 4-6) with Tow Mater costume on top (size 3T) - both have puffed chests!!

undies, PJs, football pants, baseball pants, and four pairs of basketball shorts = 9 Layers on bottom

Ironman costume with T. Rex over the top -  He put an Ironman face mask on the T. Rex's head.

My high point of the weekend was when we had the opportunity to go to a chapel to pray for a dear friend who was going to share the story of her life and faith journey with a group.  We gathered around her, placed our hands upon her shoulders, and prayed.  The big girls were at open gym with friends.  As I began the St. Teresa prayer, Henry and Vivian joined me line by line, and it was absolutely tender-hearted and moving.

May today there be peace within.
May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
May you not forget the infinite possibilities born of faith.
May you use those gifts you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.
May you be content knowing that you are a child of God.
Let this presence settle into your bones and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise, love, and listen.
It is there for each of us.
Amen.

Everyone in the World by my girls

I have two main expectations of the children in my home.  First, we must practice The Golden Rule.  We must treat one another with the love, respect, and dignity that we each deserve and desire.  Next, we six must coexist in a small space by being responsible for our belongings.  These are basic premises, but ask any parent how much time and negative energy they exert reinforcing these concepts.

Recently, we have had some totally dreadful mornings.  One child keeps waking up on what is the understatement of all time to call "the wrong side of the bed".  Getting out of bed, dressing, eating, brushing teeth - things that children all over the world must do in a timely fashion on school days...these expectations are viewed as a personal afront.   This negative attitude invariably results in raised voices, much frowning, the doling out of significantly more severe consequences, and a tense start to the day.  NOT good. I've had numerous discussions with "my people" about this situation.  One friend of four shared the book title, Cleaning House - A Mom's 12-Month Experiment to Rid Her Home of Youth Entitlement.  Wow!  That is a dandy, and I quickly begged to borrow it ASAP.  The Overleases had their first ever family meeting on Friday night, and our new plan based on Chapter 1 - Operation Clutter Control, launches tomorrow.  Each big kid will receive 30 quarters in his/her personal jar.  Children are expected to make their beds upon rising.  They are required to maintain a bedroom and bathroom clear of items on the floor...no wet towels, PJ parts, dirty socks, and stray shoes allowed.  No piling allowed on surfaces.  Breakfast dishes must be cleared and put away.  Upon my morning sweep, any undone work will result in a quarter being removed from the negligent party's jar.  The money goes into Mommy's jar.  I has done my children a disservice by acting as the tidying Godmother...constantly screwing on toothpaste caps and carrying shoes to their closets.   Evelyn, my most responsible cleanup gal, is completely ecstatic to get this quarter party started.  She keeps asking, "Is it October 1st?!"  We are ready to roll.

I have other consequences in place to deal with the back talk that has been directed at me.  Fr. Jim Sichko recently spoke at our church.  "The Ten Commandments are not The Ten Suggestions," he reminded us.  Honor your father and mother is a commandment from God, and it is my job as a parent to teach it.  Since calm explanations, and sometimes very reactive vocal outbursts on my part, have not nipped this misbehavior in the bud...let me introduce Plan B.  Fr. Jim shared the story of the one time he talked back to his little Italian mother.  His father fed him a bar of Irish Springs.  Soap in the mouth is on the list of consequences that I presented in writing to my children.  My father's solution to Miss Julie's misdeeds was to make me stand with my nose in the corner.  I HATED standing with my nose in the corner!  My father maintains that that is precisely the point.  Nose in the corner...take 2.  A new generation gets to experience it.  Early bedtime, loss of ability to accept play date invitations, and physical exertion are my new go to stakes.  I took three of the most grueling exercise moves from my workouts, demonstrated them for my children during our meeting, and explained that High Knees, Burpees, and the Duck Walk can be expected as consequences.  Google those moves.  They are no joke.  You won't backtalk me either!  I'm taking, "Drop and give me 20," to a new level.  My kids are going to be good, or they are going to have amazing legs.  Now, I understand there are Love and Logic parents out there who will scream natural consequences my direction.  Natural consequences exist under our roof too.  However, sometimes something more attention getting is necessary. Guess what?  Everyone has already been a whole lot more respectful this weekend.


The beautiful flip side of all of this came this morning.  Olivia and Evelyn composed their own hymn while I grabbed some items at the grocery store on our way home from church.  After Robbie prepared a lovely buttermilk and bacon breakfast, the children started playing mass.  Henry was assigned to carry the crusifix, which in the kids' case was a large foam block on a yellow stick used for sparring.  Vivian was given an angel.  Evelyn carried my bible.  Olivia typed and printed handouts for her parents' use during their church service and led the songs and piano music. They led us in their very own version of a mass, and Olivia read scripture from Genesis.  Robbie and I were pretty amazed by our children.  The original song had no music to it, so we four each sang it in a unique way...simultaneously.  This led to ripples of giggles.  The baby told us, "SHHH, be quiet."  Henry, again dressed in the Iron Man costume purchased by Mrs. Scarboro as a Halloween costume gift, and wiggled under the ottoman during mass until he totally disappeared.  He was a red, squirmy, worm.  He has worn that costume every minute of the day that I've allow it since Thursday afternoon.  There are padded muscles, and he thinks he is pretty cool.  I told him he looks even stronger than Daddy with those muscles, and he beams.  His words to his little sister, "Viv, you dress up like a princess.  (He handed her a Belle ball gown from the dress up bin.)  Let's pretend a shark is eating you, and I will SAVE you!!!"  Her knight in a bright red costume is her very own roommate and big brother, Henry.  What a lucky gal.  After church, my four children play church...what a lucky mommy.