Bedtime Cuddles

Early in the 8 o'clock hour I found my husband cuddled up behind my young son in his twin sized bed.  It was a precious sight.  Those two look so cute together, and Henry always looks sweetest when silent.  I left them in the pitch black room, and I wonder if I'll have a bedmate tonight.  At dinner Vivian shared the story of her birth.  She told the others that the medicine did not work, and she was the "painfullest" baby mommy ever had.  She said, "I was born the fastest."  Henry, thinking he was correcting her, said, "No, Viv.  You were born the fattest."  I almost spit cauliflower across the dinner table the laughter hit so suddenly.

Last week Robbie tickled Vivian so much at bedtime that she peed herself.  I was heading out the door for a meeting when Robbie appeared with a disgruntled look and wet PJs and panties.  He couldn't believe what had happened.  That was a first.

House of Rocks and the Impressive Stream

Robbie wants boulders.  Today we went on what we market to the children as "an adventure" to the House of Rocks to search for rocks, boulders, and flagstone for the front landscaping that we plan to personally install next weekend.  The adventure for Henry transformed from the opportunity to do his homework in the van while his parents looked at boulders to a pee emergency after consuming a whole bottle of Gatorade post-soccer game.  He was crying he needed a restroom so badly.  We were in the back of a gravel lot with loads of rocks piled from hither to yon.  I started walking him towards the distant storefront building, but the way he was physically attempting to hold back the pee convinced me an immediate solution was in order.  We slipped between two giant piles of rocks that were on the edge of a wooded  area overlooking a stream below.  My city son has little experience with such outdoor endeavors, so his stream shot skyward before descending like a rainbow's arc.  We both found the distance of his pee stream incredibly hilarious, which caused Henry to shake with laughter.  I was shocked by the volume released (so maybe there was a reason to cry), and he finally said, "That feels better."  "I imagine," I replied.  As usual, I never would have gone to the House of Rocks envisioning such a funny mothering memory made.

"Oh, I work plenty."

A lovely friend of mine just emailed me an article, Being a Stay-at-Home Parent Is a Luxury...for Your Spouse by Chaunie Brusie.  It dealt with a woman's guilt over being at home with her children while her husband was an active member of the workforce.  She felt the need to prove herself or to explain what she did all day.  She reached the conclusion that I am grateful to state my husband believes too.  The work I do as a stay-at-home parent adds a tremendous amount of value to our family.  I keep our family machine well oiled and running smoothly (most of the time...).  I recently met a woman new to our school who plans to cut back her work hours to two days a week in order to "better manage her household."  What would it cost to pay a worker to do what any given stay-at-home parent does on a given day?  A friend whose home is under construction (without working laundry facilities) paid $115 for five loads of laundry to be picked up, washed, folded, and delivered.  How many loads of laundry do big families do in a week?  Do the math.  Value added.  Add healthy meal planning, procurement, preparation, and cleanup to the bill.  Value added!

During a conversation with a checkout lady, mind you - a cranky one, she said, "Oh, you must not work."  After I backhanded her (just kidding) I quipped, "Oh, I work plenty.  I work inside the home."  I told a friend just this morning that one of the biggest blessings in my life is the fact that I am surrounded by so many remarkable women.  The mothers of my children's school friends have professions such as doctor, attorney, nurse, teacher, speech pathologist, judge, pharmacist, and business owner.  I could go on, but you get the picture.  There are hard working, highly educated, faith filled, family centered women all around me.  Those individuals balance careers, family life, faith development, and volunteer efforts impressively.  Many of the ladies in my circle left satisfying and sometimes lucrative careers to be stay-at-home moms, and the volunteer work that they provide our church and school could not be funded by the richest school district in the nation.  Many of the volunteer efforts are of such a magnitude that they are full-time jobs without the perk of pay.  What those volunteers do for the school and church, stay-at-home parents do for the family.

I tell my children that my work as their mother is the best job I've ever had.  It is a blessing that I have the opportunity (and it wasn't without financial sacrifices back in the residency days) to be at home with my children.  Evelyn commented last night that I sure am spending more time in their school this year.  I had to point out to her that this is the first time that I have not had a little one home all day every day.  Without family in the area to babysit, field trips and holiday classroom parties were hard to attend.  I love my new nine hours per week of freedom.  Being a former teacher who is a school volunteer must be like being a grandparent.  Yesterday, I got the joy of helping 6th graders perform a variety of tests on pond water to collect data.  However, when the lab was over, I was out of there...no test tubes to clean back at the lab, etc.  I could pop into Kindergarten computer lab and help Henry's classmates without the effort that goes into planning a lesson.  I can have all the fun, then turn the children over to their devoted teachers.  Being a grandparent is going to be outstanding.

I have a good thing going, and I am grateful that Robbie appreciates my efforts.  He trusts me with our money and my time.  I have never felt the need to defend or explain myself about purchases or the way I choose to fill my days.  He's a good man, and he thinks I'm a good wife.  Sometimes I joke with him (and my friends) that I could use a wife too...clean clothes would appear in my closet and my fridge would always be full.  Hot meals would magically be ready when hunger struck!  I'll stick with my present job until the needs of our family dictate that I contribute differently.  I am happy and privileged that caring for my family is my number one job description.  I feel fulfilled.  However, I respect every family's decision about how to best use the time and talents of its adult members.  I commend the efforts of working parents and single parents, and I do not envy the inevitable "second shift" required of those friends.  I have no qualms answering the question, "What do you do?" with, "I am a mother."