Babybel hell

Yesterday Henry got some Babybel cheese as a snack.  He then tore the wrapper into tiny pieces and stuck red wax from the small cheese round on four windows, in eight places on my red wall, on some door casing, and on the floor in a path every 3' through our whole house!!!    "I was making a trail," he explained.  I think he rolled the wax in his hot meaty hands to warm it to make it stick.  It was very difficult for him to remove from the surfaces, so I hope this will leave an impression.  I told him he lost the privilege of getting more of that cheese from the store.  He loves it, but before this cheese disaster I found that he can been saving the half-circle wax wraps in his bedroom.  They were hard and gross.  Robbie also discovered that Henry had a tube of my red lip gloss hidden under his bed.  He put that on Vivian.

Last night during our cookout with the Finlasons and my parents, Henry and J.T. peed in our garage.  Can any boy moms explain to me what would possess two little guys to pull that number?  Emily and I kept enjoying our wine, and we put Robbie and Mike on it.

"How do you like them apples?"

Oh, my son.  He did it again.  Viv got very sticky #2 all over the toilet seat and down her legs again today.  Henry AGAIN tried to "clean" it off with his you know what.  What is wrong with this child?  Apparently, he's plenty smart, because after I discovered unapproved gumballs in his mouth, I found a disassembled gum ball machine downstairs.  I was pretty impressed.  It was no simple job to take the thing apart, AND he managed not to shatter the glass globe on the basement floor.  Bonus!!  Most of the change was missing, but he and Vivian won't admit to any bank robbery.  I took their gum, and shook my head.  Naturally, the top screw is missing, so I can't yet restore the integrity of the machine.

Today Olivia said that when she grows up and has a car she plans to get Lopaka on her license plate.  Our friend from Robbie's med school class gave him a key chain with the Hawaiian version of Robbie on it, and it is always in our backdoor.  She made me laugh out loud.  Evelyn, my most devout Catholic of the bunch, inquired as to whether or not Adam and Eve made it to Heaven.  Hmmm, Ev.  Food for contemplation.  Will Catholicism for Dummies have that information?

We have been working hard to organize our basement this week, and I made it up to the kids by taking them to a distant pool that is on our summer pass today with water slides and various pools.  They loved it.  Henry will now ask to jump off the side in water over his head, and he'll swim around and back to the edge.  Vivian puts her face in the water and wiggles and strokes and kicks herself underwater to me again and again.  So cute!  Ev and O practiced their true strokes, and their improvement this summer is wonderful.

I went off Paleo dinner tonight and let the kids get Pizza Hut personal pans with Ev's accumulated free Book It awards.  I sent them into the restaurant to "pay" like big kids.  However, they didn't listen carefully to my instructions.  I had pre-placed the order, and it was supposed to be ready for pickup at 5:05 pm.  They were greeted with, "What can I get for you?"  Olivia told him the type and number of little pizzas, then I was waiting forever for the girls to pick up my order.  When they entered the van we figured out that they did not give the guy our last name and pizza order, they just ordered.  I went in to explain, and I left with four more little pizzas for free.  That's how my dinner plan of leftovers turned to one of warm bread, gooey cheese, and greasy meat.  The girls' lack of listening actually brought benefit to me for once.  I'll take it.  As we shared the story with Robbie I got to the part where I said, "So that's how we ended up with eight free pizzas."  Henry, with perfect comic timing, added, "How do you like them apples?!"

Olivia is off with her daddy to select an instrument to play for her first band experience as a fifth grader.  Music really clicks for her, and I'm thrilled she's eager.

Vivian just asked when we are going to Disneyland.  I explained that we just went to Disney World, and that the children are very lucky.  Many children never get to go.  Henry asked, "Lucky that you are our parents?"  I said, "Well, I hope you think you are lucky to have us as parents, but I meant lucky that you got to go to Disney World."  Henry, age five, said, "That's not the important thing.  The important thing is that you are our parents.  You are a gift from God."  AND...there you have it.  I will not end Henry for peeing on the bathroom wall twice in two days and stealing gumballs.

"Hi! I'm Daddy.", Too Much Pee, and SPRINKLE DISASTER

My husband is obviously concerned about eye safety.  He wears safety goggles when he mows the lawn to protect his eyes from flying sticks, rocks, and debris.  After wearing a pair to jump start our battery after an unnamed child left a light on in our van and our battery was dead as we loaded the vehicle to go to church, the goggles were found by Henry on the kitchen table. He put them on his small face.  He lowered his voice, changed his face, and said, "Hi!  I'm Daddy.  Vivian, use a fork.  Henry, you're bad!  Julie, I luuuvvvvv you!!"  We died.  He was hilarious!

What was not so hilarious was the unknown small person who twice peed on Vivian's quilt, bedding, and favorite blankies yesterday.  I found the first wet area before naptime, and I washed it all.  I found the next huge pee area at bedtime, and I flipped out.  Robbie played bad cop and got both of them to individually admit to peeing on Viv's bed.  What?!  We have no idea which child really committed the crime.  I just know that I did a lot of loads of laundry.  It got even better in the middle of last night when I heard talking from their room.  I discovered they were awake and having a little pow wow.  Vivian said, "For some reason my bed is all wet."  I said, "HENRY!!!  Did you pee on your sister's bed?"  He replied, "Not this time."   There is nothing like doing linen laundry in the middle of the night.  When it happens I am reminded of a great book called The Book Thief in which the kind father figure in the story set during WWII patiently washed the little girl's sheets after she wets them in her sleep night after night.  Who created that character, and where can I get that kind of patience?

Vivian used the potty today, and she left a big streak of yucky on the seat.  Henry saw it, and he decided it would be a really good idea to clean the poop off the potty by aiming his pee spray at it.  You can guess how that turned out for me.  Pee spray was on the toilet, the wall, in the air vent, and all over the tile.  I handed him the Clorox wipes and put him to work fixing the gross problem.  He then threw the unflushable wipe into the toilet after I specifically said not to do so.  What kind of an idea was that, and why in the world did I have to say, "Never use your pee to try to clean someone's poop again, Son!!!!!"

Today after they managed to get crumbled ground beef all over their dining room table chairs and floor, they entered the unfinished part of our basement.  On the storage shelves they made an amazing discovery...small bottles of various sprinkles used for decorating baked goods.  They had a grand old time sprinkling the floor with green sugar and red/white/blue candy coated chocolate sprinkles sticks.  They didn't just utilize a little small area on the floor, then went to down and really emptied those bottles.  Sprinkles were ALL OVER THE PLACE!!!  I am pretty sure they covered a 6' by 3' area of floor.  Then they walked around on it, which turned their feet blue and brown.  Next, they left a trail up the stairs and into the main level.  That did it.  I yelled for Robbie.  We decided on a consequence, and they are in bed.

My life is full.  My life is not dull.  My children are healthy and inquisitive and creative.  I always love them no matter what.  Someday they will grow up, leave me, and I'll miss them.  I will most likely survive their childhood.