Everyone in the World by my girls

I have two main expectations of the children in my home.  First, we must practice The Golden Rule.  We must treat one another with the love, respect, and dignity that we each deserve and desire.  Next, we six must coexist in a small space by being responsible for our belongings.  These are basic premises, but ask any parent how much time and negative energy they exert reinforcing these concepts.

Recently, we have had some totally dreadful mornings.  One child keeps waking up on what is the understatement of all time to call "the wrong side of the bed".  Getting out of bed, dressing, eating, brushing teeth - things that children all over the world must do in a timely fashion on school days...these expectations are viewed as a personal afront.   This negative attitude invariably results in raised voices, much frowning, the doling out of significantly more severe consequences, and a tense start to the day.  NOT good. I've had numerous discussions with "my people" about this situation.  One friend of four shared the book title, Cleaning House - A Mom's 12-Month Experiment to Rid Her Home of Youth Entitlement.  Wow!  That is a dandy, and I quickly begged to borrow it ASAP.  The Overleases had their first ever family meeting on Friday night, and our new plan based on Chapter 1 - Operation Clutter Control, launches tomorrow.  Each big kid will receive 30 quarters in his/her personal jar.  Children are expected to make their beds upon rising.  They are required to maintain a bedroom and bathroom clear of items on the floor...no wet towels, PJ parts, dirty socks, and stray shoes allowed.  No piling allowed on surfaces.  Breakfast dishes must be cleared and put away.  Upon my morning sweep, any undone work will result in a quarter being removed from the negligent party's jar.  The money goes into Mommy's jar.  I has done my children a disservice by acting as the tidying Godmother...constantly screwing on toothpaste caps and carrying shoes to their closets.   Evelyn, my most responsible cleanup gal, is completely ecstatic to get this quarter party started.  She keeps asking, "Is it October 1st?!"  We are ready to roll.

I have other consequences in place to deal with the back talk that has been directed at me.  Fr. Jim Sichko recently spoke at our church.  "The Ten Commandments are not The Ten Suggestions," he reminded us.  Honor your father and mother is a commandment from God, and it is my job as a parent to teach it.  Since calm explanations, and sometimes very reactive vocal outbursts on my part, have not nipped this misbehavior in the bud...let me introduce Plan B.  Fr. Jim shared the story of the one time he talked back to his little Italian mother.  His father fed him a bar of Irish Springs.  Soap in the mouth is on the list of consequences that I presented in writing to my children.  My father's solution to Miss Julie's misdeeds was to make me stand with my nose in the corner.  I HATED standing with my nose in the corner!  My father maintains that that is precisely the point.  Nose in the corner...take 2.  A new generation gets to experience it.  Early bedtime, loss of ability to accept play date invitations, and physical exertion are my new go to stakes.  I took three of the most grueling exercise moves from my workouts, demonstrated them for my children during our meeting, and explained that High Knees, Burpees, and the Duck Walk can be expected as consequences.  Google those moves.  They are no joke.  You won't backtalk me either!  I'm taking, "Drop and give me 20," to a new level.  My kids are going to be good, or they are going to have amazing legs.  Now, I understand there are Love and Logic parents out there who will scream natural consequences my direction.  Natural consequences exist under our roof too.  However, sometimes something more attention getting is necessary. Guess what?  Everyone has already been a whole lot more respectful this weekend.


The beautiful flip side of all of this came this morning.  Olivia and Evelyn composed their own hymn while I grabbed some items at the grocery store on our way home from church.  After Robbie prepared a lovely buttermilk and bacon breakfast, the children started playing mass.  Henry was assigned to carry the crusifix, which in the kids' case was a large foam block on a yellow stick used for sparring.  Vivian was given an angel.  Evelyn carried my bible.  Olivia typed and printed handouts for her parents' use during their church service and led the songs and piano music. They led us in their very own version of a mass, and Olivia read scripture from Genesis.  Robbie and I were pretty amazed by our children.  The original song had no music to it, so we four each sang it in a unique way...simultaneously.  This led to ripples of giggles.  The baby told us, "SHHH, be quiet."  Henry, again dressed in the Iron Man costume purchased by Mrs. Scarboro as a Halloween costume gift, and wiggled under the ottoman during mass until he totally disappeared.  He was a red, squirmy, worm.  He has worn that costume every minute of the day that I've allow it since Thursday afternoon.  There are padded muscles, and he thinks he is pretty cool.  I told him he looks even stronger than Daddy with those muscles, and he beams.  His words to his little sister, "Viv, you dress up like a princess.  (He handed her a Belle ball gown from the dress up bin.)  Let's pretend a shark is eating you, and I will SAVE you!!!"  Her knight in a bright red costume is her very own roommate and big brother, Henry.  What a lucky gal.  After church, my four children play church...what a lucky mommy.

Henry's Reality According to Evelyn

Henry is a bit philosophical for a 4-year-old male.  We have been spending A LOT of time in the van driving to and from school and activities.  He asks a lot of questions about God that frequently come up in our van.  Most recently, he asked if there are many Gods.  I told him we believe in one God.  He said with perplexity, "Then how is He in everyone's heart?"  I couldn't explain that one.  I tried, then told him we'll have to have a chat with one of the priests.  On another occasion, he asked who is in our heart, God or Jesus?  "Both," was my reply.  To this my son said, "Wow!  They must be all squooshed up."  I love the laughs that are induced from the comments of my children.  I got a great one as we read, Let Me Hold You Longer, a book that suggests parents are so busy celebrating firsts with their children that we don't recognize their "lasts".  One line went something like, "The last time you tell me you want to marry me when you grow up."  Henry pointed to the illustration of the young son running toward his mother's open arms, and he very seriously told me, "If he marries her, then Evelyn says their children will grow an extra eye right here."  He pointed to his forehead, and I erupted in laughter.  Apparently, Miss Evelyn has explained something about reproduction to Henry so that he has been advised against marrying his sisters, cousins, or mother.  On a long, sunny walk on a brisk morning, Henry inquired about how God put him in my belly when he was "a tiny baby as small as a bug".  He wanted to know if God had to use really strong tape to close the opening in my body that He used to put Henry in there.  He's always thinking and wondering, and I treasure this privilege of being with him daily so that he turns to me with his beautiful questions.

I think my son misses mom when he goes to preschool.  He asked as I pulled into the preschool parking lot, "WHY do you want me to go to school all the time?"  He only goes three afternoons a week.  After I happily reported that friends and family bought magazines from him during the school fundraiser, he got really worried.  "MOM, I don't HAVE any magazines."  Again, more laughter.  Finally, shortly after 6 am this morning my little buddy crawled into my bed for his morning snuggle.  After a bit, he got right in my face, his nose practically touching mine, and said, "When are you going to get up, Mom?  I'm so hungry."  Henry sat on my lap all during Olivia's first volleyball games yesterday, and he was not still.  Robbie chuckled next to me in bed, and said, "You see little monkeys or cubs who are all over their mothers, bothering them relentlessly.  There are similarities."  More laughter.

Olivia is totally excited about playing volleyball and dancing ballet this fall.  She will likely audition for The Nutcracker with the Kansas City Ballet.  Evelyn has been earning gold coins at school for her cooperation and fine behavior at a record setting pace, and she's working hard on school skills.  She started back to gymnastics last week, and she loves it!  She's been doing all sorts of moves on the swing set bar.  Vivian is a talking machine and wearing panties.  What has the world come to when I don't have a baby in diapers?  I'm kind of in a funk about it, rather than celebrating Viv's accomplishment.

This is a beautiful morning.  Robbie and the children are outside playing on the swing set.  I am enjoying my second cup of hot coffee after a scrumptious breakfast of Robbie's "from scratch" pancakes, a new recipe today, 100% pure Michigan maple syrup, melon, berries, and bacon.  Life is GOOD!  Thank you dear God.