Boney

I have numerous friends who had babies right around the time that Vivian was born. One such friend has an early elementary school aged child who loves art. This nameless child took some markers to a white onesie for the new baby of the family. My friend explained that upon being shown the work of art, the drawing looked very, very much like male genetalia. To make things even more interesting, the child wrote BONEY below the picture. She and I had recently discussed the sex talks we had with our oldest children. The mom's eyes grew very wide, she drew in a breath, and as she was about to speak, the dad said, "Bunny, Honey. It says bunny." I loved this story. The shirt is in the baby's memory box, and what a memory it will remain for years ahead.

Robbie and I had a date last night, and we were talking about memories from college and how our lives have changed and our family has grown since 1994. We recalled funny stories, and I told him about a recent laugh I got from Evelyn. Poor Evelyn is so sweet that the bugs just devour the child. She had a terrible bite not too long ago, and I pulled something out of the medicine box that I thought would help. Now, I must digress.

Anyone who has never had a baby has no idea of the early postpartum care that is required "down there" after a baby comes out. No one tells you about it. I must admit that in 2003 when I was handed the equivalent of a bag of ice from a nurse to keep between my legs for a couple of DAYS I was a bit shocked. Babies born the old fashioned way leave mothers with cuts and tears that need stitches. That part is not so fun or comfortable. Every time I've had a baby I have come home with a spray can of Hospital Strength Dermoplast Pain Relieving Spray. Ha!! You know the one, mommy readers. It has a blue top. Well, my children do not give me much privacy in the bathroom, and I've had more than a couple of babies. My girls are schooled on the topic of vaginal deliveries, and they fear C-sections. That's another blog entry. Anyway, they've seen me use the aforementioned product to ease the discomfort during the early weeks after delivering a baby. So.....when I pulled out the Dermoplast and got ready to use it on Ev's bites she totally freaked out. The can even says Relieves Itching from Bites. She said, "WHY are you going to use Vagina Spray on me?! I do NOT want any Vagina Spray." Oh, God love her. She wouldn't get anywhere near that can. There was no reasoning with her either. She wanted me to keep my can to myself. She'd rather itch.

Speaking of spraying, Henry let loose with a garden hose on Mrs. Scarboro recently. She's such a dear. She called one morning and invited the three big kids over to help her in the lawn. Olivia had a fever, and Ev was on her way to a friend's house, but Henry was free. He watered her flowers. He dug in the mud. He didn't want to come home when I went after him, and as we were talking he turned and sprayed water all over theback lower half of Mary Jane's body. She laughed and laughed. I would have screamed and scolded him, but she isn't like me. They have a special bond, those two. I just observed their interactions, watched Al laugh, and stood by as Henry sprayed her again in the bottom and then on her front side. She was dripping wet when their play time ended. He had a ball. Her face was joyful. Al said Henry aimed the hose straight up, then laughed as the water rained down on his head. "I ALL wet!" he said.

I've been telling him things like, "You're a cutie pie," or "You are too noisy." He'll say in all seriousness, "I not cutie pie. I HENRY," or "I not noisy. I Henry!" Today when I asked him who is cute, he told me Evie is cute. She's been gone since Sunday, so I thought his answer was pretty cute. My friend Eli gave Vivian some Baby, M.D. PJs that are scrub green. Henry calls her Doctor Vivian when she wears them. He also told me today, "Daddy help people eyes at work. Daddy happiness. Yaya have no penis." I'm not sure how daddy's job and anatomy matters are connected in Henry's brain, but at least he has things correct.

Two nights ago Robbie had Henry in his arms. I was cleaning up in the kitchen, and Robbie said with a worried tone, "I think he just peed on me." I laughed and told him that sounded like a personal problem. He put Henry down and found a dinner plate sized wet spot on his t-shirt. I soon heard the shower turn on from the other side of the kitchen wall. Henry came in and told me, "Daddy take shower."

When I needed a shower the other morning the timing was such that Vivian was in the nursery for her AM nap. I didn't want Henry in his crib making a bunch of racket while I got clean, so I put him in my bathroom. He kept sticking his chubby hands under the shower curtain, and I felt him squeeze my foot. He opened the curtain and tried to climb in with me while he was fully dressed. He threw a super hero duck and a bath toy frog in so I could play. Once I was out and thought his messing around was finished he managed to get soap suds from two almost empty shampoo/conditioner bottles all over his hands. He wiped them on his face, and then he started crying from burning eyes. I was naked. He was blind. I washed his hands and told him to calm down and leave Mommy's shower things alone. Then he touched the suds again!! It was 9:26 am, and our friends were supposed to arrive at 9:30 am. I didn't factor in the delay of having Henry so near me during the showering experience.

Well, I have our menu planned for the weekend of company from Mom, Mike, and Ryan. I waited for a downpour to end, then took the two little ones grocery shopping this evening. Henry rode in the semi-long car cart, and Vivian didn't make a peep in her infant carrier. She's such a good girl. The big girls return tomorrow. I'll be so glad to have them safe and sound in my arms again!! We are going to Courtney Gelvin's wedding, and that should be a ball. Everyone pray that Vivian will take the bottle. I asked my friend Nada to feed her today while we hung out at her house, and Vivian got furious. It wasn't pretty. God bless my mother who plans to babysit overnight. I bought Vivian's first baby food this evening. She's been eyeing my food and reaching for my plate, so if the nipple on the bottle won't do, then maybe Mom can try a spoon to satisfy her.

The Darn Green Paddle

I'm a rules girl. I know that about myself. It kept me out of a lot of trouble growing up, and I think it helped me land a great husband. I'm not prim and proper, but I do walk the straight and narrow. This attitude carries over to my childrearing too. I want certain things just so, and I don't always leave a lot of room for compromise. However, as my children get older I work hard to ask myself the question, "Can you say, "yes"?" I don't want to naturally go to a NO answer.

This morning Henry's favorite shirt was dirty. We need a size 2T or 3T from TJ Maxx if you happen to run across a crimson, short-sleeved, t-shirt with three cream-colored and navy, old school looking sketches of baseball players across the front...a thrower, catcher, and batter. It has navy blue trim at the neck and arms, and I need another one! I gave him the bad news, and he immediately opened a drawer reserved for cold weather clothes, removed a sweater that I recently found on clearance (score!), and said, "I'll wear this one." I launched into my explanation about hot weather...no sweaters...sweaters are for when it is chilly outside, yada yada yada. He wouldn't hear of it. He tried to dress himself. I tried to pry the sweater out of his meaty, "Daddy Robbie strong" grip. I decided that this was an opportunity for Henry to learn about how Mommy is right. The natural consequence of wearing a sweater on a hot summer morning is that he'd get hot. We were getting ready for our walk with the neighbors. I let him wear it. I packed a polo shirt. He never complained. He was happy as a lark. And you know what? It wasn't the end of the world. Maybe I need to say, "yes," more often.

I should have reached this conclusion before my trip to Target. Robbie asked me to take Henry and Vivian to the office this week to see the ladies. We parked, and Henry wanted to take a lime green paddle inside with him. We'd been playing toss and catch with a phantom ball in the car, and I figured the toy would keep him happy. We had a nice visit with Daddy and the ladies, and everything was fine. At Target I told him he had to leave the toy in the car. Back to my rules...we don't take toys into stores. Henry got sad, then he cried, then he screamed, then he completely fell apart and started kicking and running in the air as I lifted him into the cart. We created a scene for several minutes as he yelled again and again, "I WANT MY PADDLE BACK." The only good part was that he was screaming in a sad, rather than spoiled bratty sort of way. I always attempt to look at the glass as half full, even if it is full of..., well, you know. Sometimes I get scolded by Robbie for the frank way that I blog, so I'll let you fill my glass with something yucky, and you can get the drift. To make the Target run even more exciting I could not find my wallet at the checkout counter. I had $25 cash, and I had to subtract items one by one to decrease my $41 balance to something I could afford. Henry was a quiet doll boy during that ordeal. Then once we got home I discovered that my milk, for which I declined a sack, had leaked all over the carpet in the cargo area of the van. Can you imagine how that milk could sour the carpet in this heat? I had to unload the van, feed Henry, nurse the baby, change diapers, put them down for naps, then clean the car. Henry wanted that darn paddle in his crib with him. He already has a teddy bear, Elmo, airplane quilt, blue blankey, plastic doll house horse, and himself in there. I said, "No." I let him keep the ball, but I didn't want to let him have the paddle for fear he'd pull off one of the little suction cups, try to eat it, and choke during naptime. I'm a rules girl, and a worrier. That's only a good combination when you are an adolescent experiencing peer pressure and want to do the right thing for fear of the consequences at stake. Maybe my girls will be like me. Let's hope. Anyway, the children are napping, and now I plan to tackle the monstrosity that is my girls' closet. The fun awaits!!

Oh, I found my wallet in the stroller in the back of the van. I put it there for library card purposes yesterday. Thank goodness it was misplaced, not lost!

Henry's Talking

Henry just reached into the back pocket of my shorts, removed my cell phone, handed it to me, and said, "Here you go, Mommy." As I reflected on my last post it dawned on me that there wasn't much mention of Henry's mischief. Then at dinner he stuck one of his carrot sticks up his nose. We freaked out, and Robbie told him that could hurt Henry. He proceeded to eat the carrot stick. Very gross. When I asked Henry if he'd eat his chicken like a lion (which usually works to get him to take a ferocious bite), he said, "No, thank you." However, Robbie thought he said, "No way, Dude," and the way it actually sounded was, "No, wank-ooo." Luckily, I speak Henry.

Robbie asked for some cookies for dessert, so I whipped some up after I put Vivian to bed while my guys played ball outside. You should have seen the happy Henry face upon sight of the sweet cookie treat. He LOVES cookies as much as his mama.

When he came in and ate more cookies he looked at me and said, "You sooo cute, Mommy." I thanked him, and then he said, "Daddy not so cute." I told Henry that I disagree.

I used one of Vivian's Target gift cards to buy her some darling PJs in size 6-9 months. I went ahead and washed them, even though her 3 to 6 months size still fits. Robbie happened to select the new ones tonight, and they fit perfectly. I was so sad. She has gotten so big. She was rolling all over the floor today during tummy time while I made dinner in the kitchen. I'd leave her on her belly and return to find her on her back in a completely different spot facing another direction. Her feet look so small compared to her sweet fat thighs. I could just eat them! They are so plump. I still look at her and feel amazed that my milk can make her grow to look so healthy. I love it!!

Henry talks to her all the time. He asks to hold her and kiss her, and he calls her, "Lil Vivian." He says it without the second "v", and it is music to my ears. Gosh, I love these children.

Henry just called down the basement stairs for me. Robbie just gave him a bath. Thank God I have a helpful hubby. What a wonderful difference that makes in my life. He said, "Mom? I come?" I told him I'd be right up and that I love him. "I love you, too, Mom," is how my little man answered. I must go hug him. I bet Robbie is reading a baseball book.

Happy Monday

My sweet baby girl, Vivian, sleeps through the night now. Hip hip hooray!!! I actually feel pretty rested today. For so many nights I'd get a stretch of sleep, yet the duration of months with lack of sleep outweighed the rest created by the good nights. I think we're over the hump. The two youngest have been sharing a room through all of this, so my family is an example of hope for any small house owners who read this. We made it work. However, the baby woke up at 6:08 am today, and I couldn't slip her out of Henry's room without being seen. He started crying for Mommy and warm milk. Most days I wake up to, "MOMMMMYYY, I'm awaaaake!" I then lie there and pray, "God, help me do your will today." I figure that pretty much covers all of the bases required to be a good mother, wife, and person in general. I try.

The girls are with their grandparents in Illinois. The house has an odd quiet to it, even with Henry and Vivian still home. We miss the big girls. They help me entertain Henry and hold Vivian. Evelyn has been singing with an absolutely beautiful voice, and Olivia is wise for her years and a great oldest child. I'll be thrilled upon their return. Henry keeps asking about them. I love his perception. One day when Vivian stayed home and I took the older kids on an errand, he said, "Mommy, where's your baby?" He knew she was missing from the van, and he wanted to make sure I was aware of the absence. I loved it! He keeps asking me where YaYa and Evie are. Then he'll remember and say, "They're with grandparents."

The girls said they were looking forward to their vacation because, "Grandma Mary lets us watch movies, and Grandpa Mike takes us to the candy store." What could be better?

I did a lot of praying yesterday during their drive to my parents' place. I hate it when they are on the highway without us. I need to worry less. It only makes me crazy.

Henry took another swimming lesson today after several weeks without attending. I've been working with him at our community pool, and he's really good for his age. I bet next summer when he's three it will all click with his coordination, and he'll be a little fish. His love this summer is hitting the baseball on the tee. Robbie and I are amazed at the skill with which he swings and hits the ball. His hand eye coordination is fantastic. With his love of all balls, an athletic and involved daddy, and some potential natural talent, we could be going to a lot of ball games for years to come. I have great memories from all of my little brother's athletic pursuits, so that sounds fun to me.

Henry let me get through a DVD workout this morning without crawling on or under me. That was helpful. I always tell Robbie how Henry asks to be held when I exercise, but Saturday he got to witness it for himself. Henry ducked under me as I did various moves, and he got on my back again and again during my floor work. For some reason he likes to stay very near me when I do my workouts, and he remains relatively calm. He'll also comment, "Oh, Mommy. You're all sweaty. You need shower."

He's been playing with a little horse that goes to the girls' dollhouse. He wants to sleep with it, and last night he asked Robbie to cover the horsie with a blanket knit by Kara (Snedegar) Vonderkall's mother when Henry was born. It was so cute. Henry will call to us as we leave his room at bedtime or naptime, "I love you, too! God bless you. Jesus loves you." Joy to my heart. That's what Henry does for this mama.

The Crying It Out Is Wearing Me Out

This whole crying it out thing has been hard on me. Vivian still wakes up in the morning wearing a big happy smile, and she naps whenever she feels like it. I, on the other hand, am quite tired. Funny, the first night that she finally went 12 hours without waking up did not go well for mama. I was awakened at 12:30 am with a big pee pee situation from one who drank too much on a hot summer evening spent outdoors. So after weeks and weeks of feeding a baby in the middle of the night, she slept and I was up again. Henry woke up at 1 am today with a 101.5 fever. This is as low energy as he's been in ages. The poor guy doesn't feel well. I took to the basement for my workout, and she asked me to hold him on my back on the treadmill. I did it for him. He just wanted to be close to mommy. All in all, Miss Vivian has made it over a huge sleep hump. Her wakings have moved from 2 am to closer to 4 am, and she'll go back to sleep on her own without nursing. This is huge, and I'm thrilled. She has slept 12 hours straight twice in the last week, so I mustn't complain. She's so fat and cute. Five months?! She's going to crawl and take steps before I know it. Henry calls her Vivian, instead of Baby Sis, now. I love the sound of her name on his lips. So sweet.

Yesterday Olivia was playing with Henry, and she teasingly said, "Henry, do you love Maggie?" Maggie is one of her friends. Henry said, "No, I love BALLS!" He does, too. He dribbles the soccer ball at his sister's baseball games. He played catch and throw with the volleyball at another baseball game. He "shoots hoops" and asks to "hit baseballs" at every opportunity.

The swimming is coming along nicely. Ev is really progressing. She can kick and do arm strokes and cover some water with her face in the pool. Henry just jumps off the stairs to me and either kicks or does the "reach and pull" move. Olivia watched him underwater and about choked on water after laughing at seeing his huge underwater smile.

I love summertime with my children. We're really having fun. I'll hate to see it end.

So Tired

After talking with my friend Nada about Vivian's night wakings around 2 am each night I decided to let her cry last night while Robbie and the girls were away. She woke at 2:35 pm, cried a lot, and woke Henry by 2:55 am. He said, "Mommy, baby sis crying." I went to him, and he said, "You nurse her?" He's such a smart little guy. I told him my plan, and he stayed down in his crib as she fussed, got quiet, then started crying and screaming again. After an hour I caved and nursed her for Henry's sake. This room sharing in our tiny house poses some challenges. I am TIRED. Henry woke me from a dead sleep at 6:45 am, after I'd been up for two hours in the night. He yelled, "MOMMMYYYYY!!" And that's that.

I Really, Really, Really Love Being a Mom

After Robbie spent well over a week off work with Henry we returned home. The little guy does not like long car trips one bit, and he did a fair share of yelling. It was a pretty bad trip. He threw his special blanket and toys that I handed him, then he wanted them back. It wasn't pretty. I don't think our parents really understand what it takes to get our big family packed, drive several hours with small children, and then deal with them out of their normal surroundings. Luckily, we don't get too many complaints about not making road trips to Illinois and Oklahoma. Robbie said, "Henry just doesn't stop." He talked the entire car ride, and never went to sleep. When we got to K.C. and a bad storm hit, he cried for an umbrella and protested, "Henry will get ALL WET!"

Oh, Robbie is more in tune with Henry than I am. In a recent post I described how Henry kept asking for YMCA on the iPod. He did this because our dear neighbors, Al and Mary Jane Scarboro, gave him a yellow Hummer that plays YMCA when he was a baby. I forgot about that. I just thought he decided he liked a great song. We've been back from our trip since Monday, and he's asked me on every leg of every van ride we've taken since for the song YMCA. He's obsessed.

The other day while I was in the shower he tore the blind to his window into two big strips. Why do I shower? After he climbed out of the Pack-n-Play in Oklahoma I always fear he'll show up on the other side of the shower curtain and scare me half to death.

We shopped this week, and I spied little Henry-sized boxer briefs with footballs on them. I had to have them, and he was excited. He kept showing them to people in the shop, calling them his "football panties." He made a lot of women laugh that day. Mommy wasn't laughing when he removed his shoe, threw it under a rack of clothes in the back corner of the store, and didn't ask for it until we were in another store. Nice. He isn't using a big potty, but I have some monkey tighty whities ready for when Henry is ready.

To his credit, last night at dinner he said, "Father Son Holy Spirit Amen." He was very proud of himself, and I just know God was smiling. Henry often tells me, "God bless you," as I put him down for his nap. He's learning by my example, so I better set good examples. Today as I nursed sweet Vivian he walked up to us, kissed her on the head, touched her hair softly, and said, "Vivian is adorable." An hour later he tried to sit on her during her tummy time, but luckily, such actions are rare. He's actually quite amazing with her.

Today she decided to start crying in a furious manner that sounds like screeching. I am totally honest when I say that the noise is so loud and high that it seriously hurts my ears. I hope she stops soon. I was so startled by the sound coming from her room that I sprinted down the hall. It sounded as though a squirrel had gotten into her bed and attacked her. The cry is BAD and LOUD!

All of this said, I am so completely thankful for my children. A member of our church and school community has lost a baby, and my heart breaks for her family. I must treasure the little creatures entrusted to me by God and enjoy them in every way. Our girls are away for the time being, and their clean room and empty beds seem very strange. I miss them so much, and I am really thrilled about their upcoming return. I think life with Henry and Vivian is harder without big sisters around. They do a lot to help me monitor the little ones.

Vacation - All I Ever Wanted

Life with a young family often causes me to envision a sine curve. You remember. That's the one with the repeating peaks and valleys. That curve is my life. Sometimes we get to a peak where there is excessive volume of the crying kind. Everyone is high in negative energy, and Robbie and I look at each other as if to ask, "Where did all of these children come from?" The dip in the curve exists in my life when all of the children are asleep. Quiet. Peace. Luckily, most of my interactions with my little children take place in the middle of the very bad and completely silent. That's life, and I love it.

We recently took a long car ride, and I was co-pilot. I ran the iPod, and answered the hilarious call to Henry's request, "Turn on YMCA." The boy loves that song, and we played it for him again and again. He finally had to take turns with Evelyn, for her request was the Vacation Bible Camp cd. Henry noticed the view out the window as we traveled through Kansas and Oklahoma, and I think we heard a comment about cows about 599 times. "I see cows. I want to see MORE cows. I see cows right there." It was funny.

Vivian was an excellent trooper in the van. The little one honestly did not make a sound for the duration of the five hour drive. We even discovered a massive shitastrophe once we stopped at McDonald's. My friend coined that term, and I haven't found one that better describes the mess that baby poop can make when it escapes a diaper. Vivian had poopy up to her armpits. Once in the restroom I began changing her. I kid you not, the hand dryer was called the XLERATOR - Excel Dryer. It was the loudest one I have ever experienced. As each patron started it up my little baby's eyes grew very large and worried. However, she never cried. Olivia would have flipped her lid as an infant upon hearing such racket. Not Vivian. She didn't cry in the van with a terribly messy diaper, and she didn't cry from fright with the XLERATOR. What a good baby girl.

We left home at 8:30 am, and we arrived in Edmond, OK around 2 pm. Henry went to sleep at 1:55 pm. Upon setting up his bed and putting him down for a much needed nap, he proceeded to crawl out of his Pack-n-Play. That was a dreaded first. He repeated his bold move upwards of 20 times. Naptime and bedtime turned into a nightmare. We just couldn't keep him in his bed. Traveling with children is hard, but that turn of events moved me toward exhaustion.

Henry also demonstrated his protectiveness over Vivian. Both in Edmond with 2-year-old Brianna and in McAlester with his same age cousin Isabella, Henry acted as a brute around the girls. "That's my baby sis. You don't touch her." He pulled hair and squeezed their arms, shoved, and more. It was awful. We understood how he felt, but he could not be allowed to harm little girls who simply wanted to look at Vivian.

Uncle Lee and Aunt Corrine met us for mass and then took us to the Museum Cafe for brunch. As we approached the exquisitely set table, Master Henry knocked a small plate off the end of the table and cracked it into five pieces before anyone had even taken a seat. Robbie and I were mortified. Evelyn then had a meltdown over her food not getting cut by the proper person, and we spent the meal trying to survive.

Olivia has been as good as gold on this trip. She played nicely with our Edmond friends. She had a ball with her boy cousins from Tulsa in McAlester. She has devoured many books. She's been easy.

In Wilburton at Grandma Gloria's house Henry pulled the pom-pom balls off of her bedspread and tossed them into the air without a care in the world. I never witnessed this behavior, but I heard about it. We followed him all over the place. He escaped us long enough to sprinkle pepper all over the table and get a mint out of the trashcan. He's a mess. I think we should have named him Busy, rather than Henry.

Today during mass at Sacred Heart he pointed to a life size crucifix and said, "Jesus has boobies." He said it very loudly, but we were in the back away from the other church-goers. Robbie's high school math teacher commented, "I see you have three very quiet girls, and one very curious boy."

The highlight of our vacation included the celebration of our 10th wedding anniversary. Robbie convinced his mother some time ago to keep all four children overnight to allow us to drive to Tulsa for a getaway. Robbie kept our itinerary secret, and I was thrilled as each surprise of the day was revealed. We dined at the Philbrook Museum for lunch, and he invited two of my friends from college, Amy and Renee. I was shocked when the waiter filled the third and fourth water glasses on our table, and I was very excited when the girls walked into the restaurant. Our hotel room was in a corner, and it was so spacious that it was like a fancy little apartment. Very nice. We had our traditional french dinner at The Brasserie, and the meal was wonderful. He even got theatre tickets, and we saw Kiss Me, Kate. It was a great July 1st! I am so thankful for Robbie and our marriage. He brings me so much joy. The only downside was that baby Vivian was not happy one little tiny bit with the bottles and formula that I left for Gwen. She went through the breastmilk with coaxing, and then she wanted nothing to do with her bottle. I don't think anyone really told me how bad it got, but I think there was A LOT of crying. I was extremely thankful for the gift of time alone with Robbie. I just wish I would have left more milk for her. I thought formula packets would be faster to prepare than defrosting and warming my milk. What a mistake! Gwen is a wonderful mother-in-law. If you read this, then Thank You!! She even had help from Pam, a co-worker friend, and two of Robbie's young cousins. We are very lucky and appreciative.

Well, we have a return drive ahead of us. Thank goodness for cows and YMCA. I think we'll survive. Yes, my friend Dana found a tent cover to her Pack-n-Play, and with an adult in the room where Henry slept, it somewhat discouraged his climbing. All was not lost.